Roxanne Walker for The Medusas
Roxanne’s story is both heartbreaking and relatable for a lot of women that I know including myself. It all started for Roxanne when she was 14 and found herself on a sexual bender. Sneaking out, getting high with strangers and friends who took advantage of her low self-esteem; her virginity was taken by an individual who preyed on this more than the others. They were the same age, and although Roxanne thinks that she was young and naive, no matter what the age it is never okay for a person to use a person who isn’t in the right headspace.
Straight after that relationship ended, Roxanne got involved with someone, who she thought she had fallen in love with, he used that to coerce her into things she wasn’t comfortable with. One night in particular, he convinced her to sneak out after he had been drinking, she caught a bus late at night to a house she had never been to before and after they had sex he kicked her out onto the street at 2am, calling her a slut. After a year of emotional abuse, Roxanne mustered up the courage to leave after she talked him out of killing himself.
Roxanne’s next relationship wasn’t until 2 and a half years after the last. They were both living with her parents at the time. This boyfriend had textbook abusive patterns, such as going through her phone without her knowledge, telling her who she could and couldn’t see, doing things that were made to scare her and threatening to breakup with her every time he didn’t get his way. After a while Roxanne started biting back, which turned the relationship into a toxic hurricane. He punched holes into walls, sat onto of her, choked her and that’s when Roxanne made him pack his bags. He was a textbook narcissist.
Roxanne’s relationship to relationships is now completely different, she cheated on her last boyfriend, breaking it off towards the end as they were so on and off. He wanted her at his house all the time, with constant attention and affection, he would turn up at her house throwing things, he thew punches at a man she was with at the shops. The relationship didn’t conclusively end for a while, it just…faded. There were abusive drunk calls for months until it finally stopped.
Roxanne now finds herself not prone to wanting a long term/monogamous relationship, the fear of being hurt again is stronger than her want of committing to a single person. Roxanne now finds her sexuality is more fluid, her orientation is inconclusive. Although monogamy isn’t in the near future, she has not had a one night stand, but is open to the idea. I am wishing Roxanne the best of luck on her sexual and romantic journey and I can’t thank her enough for sharing these intimate details with me. I hope you all enjoy this editorial for The Medusas!
-Edit from Jessica: This has been re-uploaded to the blog from my Patreon archive. To view the full uncensored set and support me in the process, please head over to my Patreon.