Art Is Hard (St Kilda Garden) : Jessica K Photography
Art is hard.
Art is hard.
There isn’t a simpler way to say it. Creating is hard. Being an artist is difficult. I constantly find myself doubting my work and myself, lately I have found myself doubting not only that but my personality also. Who am I? I’m turning 21 in two weeks time and what have I achieved so far?
All of these questions are obviously harmful, and no one should be thinking them unless they have a serious issue in their life they need to sort out but realistically the only thing that is upsetting me at the moment is my own hopes and dreams. Which seems pretty weak to me.
I was going through my (daily) hard drive this morning to delete a few old folders to clear space and I came across this set of images I shot over a year ago now, when I had moved to Melbourne. A friend had come down from Sydney to stay and we had gone to St Kilda for the afternoon. He is also a photographer, and was the only person supporting my Patreon at the time, which had not taken off yet due to a few factors… I can’t thank him enough for supporting me when no one else did.
Back to my sob story, literally. I was going through these images and I started crying, ugly crying of course. I thought why in the world am I crying over an image of seagulls and an old wheel?! The truth is, all of my goals were tied up in Melbourne, and when things went south and I had to go home, all of those goals kind of just…broke.
The truth is, all of my goals were tied up in Melbourne, and when things went south and I had to go home, all of those goals kind of just…broke.
I am an over emotional human, I get stuck being attached to places, houses and things.
The other day I balled my eyes out for an hour because of snow globe I got when I was 11 had been broken while I was in Melbourne and I had only checked now when I went to look for my Halloween decorations.
This blog post isn’t one where I have a revelation about my life and try to change it for the better, nor am i really looking for advice.
I just kind of, need to put this out there because of who I am as an artist. It’s not always pretty, most of the times it’s not actually, but it will be okay as long as I keep creating. That is the one thing I can be certain of.